Today Ulf takes a step away from JUNK — though rest assured, there is LOTS MORE JUNK TO BE OFFERED — and muses about False Advertising, one of his PET PEEVES.
Like this Dual-Fuel lantern. NOS, obtained by Ulf recently on a whim — because the box said — YOU CAN USE TWO DIFFERENT FUELS!! Many were the claims made that this lantern is not a MONO-FUEL, it’s a DUAL-FUEL!!
But then Ulf read the FINE PRINT. The two fuels are — wait for it, pals — GASOLINE and … GASOLINE. Yes, the second FUEL is simply ‘unleaded’ gasoline! What the what????
This seems to Ulf like a bait-and-switch — the OLD SHELL GAME! I thought, in purchasing this fine Coleman product, that ‘dual fuel’ meant either gasoline-and-kerosene, Crown-or-Coleman-Fuel (if only to spark debate on the Forum), or, say, enriched plutonium and gasified cow manure. Or something.
But no. And if there’s one thing Ulf cannot abide, it is FALSE ADVERTISING. And let it be shouted from the rooftops: If you detect any such False Advertising in one of Ulf’s Classified Crap Free (CCF) Giveaways, SHUN ME BOYS. Have nothing further to do with Ulf, because he would no longer deserve your kindness and camraderie!!
THUS THIS OFFER IS 100% REAL. AND IT IS 150% SPECTACULAR.
So that means … this not-bad-looking, quite new (fired a few times), so-called ‘DUAL’ Fuel Coleman lantern, complete with its cheesy rubber pump cup and plastic pump surround, can be yours for FREE. (I will, however, remove the morning dew that has settled upon it.). POSTAGE INCLUDED.
I will remove the used mantles prior to shipping unless you request otherwise. They are crummy GOLD BOND mantles anyway, which were in the box with the Lying Lantern. The box is not included, because it went out with the recycling two weeks ago.
Good luck Saturday Shoppers!
ULF.
